...and away we go!

So this is it. My first post in my new journal. I keep thinking that there should be some grand introduction but in all reality, I am starting this because of all the changes I have been through in the past few months.

....so I guess a good way to start out will be to sum up all that stuff from the past..well...few months!

May 2010
*Turned 28!
*Went to Monkey show at the Crepe Place with long time friends.

June 2010
*Eemergency surgery
*Ddecided to move from Sacramento back to the Bay Area.
*Started hanging out with old friends again.

July 2010
*Monkey show at Homestead Lanes in Cupertnio.
*Relationship began to fall apart.
*Depression about job/life kicked in.

August 2010
*Moved to the Bay Area.
*Broke up.
*Moved in with mom.
*Started new job as a concierge.
*

You know... as I write out this basic timeline...I start to wonder how important it is. I don't think it is all that important so frankly, I am going to stop there. It doesn't really matter where I have been...it just matters where I am right now.

I am so happy right now. Even in the middle of the most chaos and financial issues and life changing and job frustrations (yes..the new job)...I am happy.

I have lots of dreams and I am working towards them. I am hanging out with a wonderful boy...who in this journal I will call Moral Orel...(more to come on that later) and I am just enjoying my time.

Most of my life has been spent so far out in the future. Dreaming of marriage (I am divorced currently) or planning big things or praying things will change...but I was never really living in the moment...and lately, since my life sorta fell apart and all my plans and dreams went to shit...I have been more focused on the here and now.

I do not waste time dreaming of some grand future with Moral Orel, because I just enjoy being with him now. That doesn't mean I do not think that we have a future together....actually it is quite the opposite. I truly believe no matter what, that in some capacity, we will be together. Friends or more or whatever...I have a blast when we are together and I don't want to miss any of those moments by dreaming and thinking too far into the future.

I think the downfall of a lot of my relationships is that I was always hoping it would get better. Dreaming of the future and how things would be better if ... IF...always IF.

Now...I am not dreaming of IF...I am not thinking IF... everything is great...


.....there are other aspects of my life I want to improve.

Physical health. I want to workout more and lose some weight. Get buff and sexy...and be healthy and prepare to someday, have kids. Well...A kid. Singular.

So my steps towards this include joining a gym (CHECK) ...using it (not so check) and eating/journaling food (have not started yet)

Work. I want a real career. I want to make enough money to travel. Which involves finishing school.

Steps: Go back to school (semi check. I am on a break right now due to finances)....applying for jobs that pay well and have regular type hours (CHECK. I have even tested for a county job!)

But yeah...in general...things are good.

My goal for this journal is to blurt out my thoughts and feelings for the day. Get my ducks in a row and inspire myself and who knows..maybe others.

I want to share my interactions...my silly moments, the amazing people I meet. Because I think that they are worth remembering.

....meeting people gets me HIGH! I love learning about someone. I love making them smile. Its the most amazing feeling in the world.

So I guess that's it for now. Maybe more after work. See how this goes.

Wish me luck!