Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Blah blah blah (An update of sorts)

So..here is the "skinny"....


Still no job (boo)

Got a Nook for Christmas from my mom

Still not working out like I should be since I dont have a job!

Applications coming out my ears!

Still dating the same guy....

and really, thats about it. I dont really have much to say right now...I am at a 2 day catholic funeral about 100 miles from home in a hotel where my mom is asleep in the other queen bed and I am reading a book called "Become Your Own Matchmaker"

Its the book from that chick Patti from the Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo (New episode tonight inspired me to read the book)


and I think that I will focus a couple of blog entries on the things she suggests to do in this book to be happy with yourself and attract a mate.


I know I am dating currently so the "dating detox" is kinda out of the question but the activities she suggests doing during the dating detox are good activities that I think I could use. 


So yes... more to blog I swear...I have the power and I have the dreams I just need to find out whats holding me back.


I think it is the fear of failure...that even if I work out that nothing will happen ...that I will never love myself fully and well...be a general mess forever...but I cant let that be the case.


When I moved to Portland back in 2007 ...I was 60lbs less than I am now. I wasnt thrilled with myself but I had cute clothes and definitely felt better than I do now. 


Right now thats my goal...to be back to my pre-Portland weight. I need to figure out how to do that and such without  setting a goal I cant achieve. 


How did I do it before? with the FIRM and the TransFIRMer system. I dont have my steps anymore (sad face) but I know there are other workouts that work too and shit...I am serious. I dont have a job. What the fuck am I doing with my life!?!??!


I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD ... *sigh*


So yes yes...I need to get my act together and I literally have ZERO excuses. 


I should try and sleep. 


Funeral mass early tomorrow. *sigh*

More to come!

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